NBA Team Name Musical Chairs

David Stern and the NBA finally found a buyer for the New Orleans Hornets in Tom Benson, owner of the New Orleans Saints. As Benson completely takes over that city he is also interested in taking over the name of a team over in Utah who call themselves the Jazz. Benson has expressed interest in bringing the name back to New Orleans, where the Jazz played up until 1979. Unfortunately for him, Utah has no interest in changing.

"It belongs to Utah," Stern said Monday, as reported by The Times-Picayune. "I wouldn't make it such an important point. There are many things that are indigenous to the area. I'm sure there will be some wonderful (suggested) nicknames."
Via Deseret News

The plot thickens. Since the Hornets are openly interested in a name change, the team currently playing (if you could call in that) games in Charlotte, the Bobcats, would be interested in bringing that name back to Charlotte, where the Hornets played up until 2002.

With new Hornets owner Tom Benson saying he might rename the team, there’s been more speculation about whether the Bobcats would be interested in acquiring the Hornets nickname. Bobcats management can’t comment on that.

But sources familiar with NBA procedure say it would take a minimum of two years from the time a team requested a name change until there actually was a change. That’s in part about giving uniform-supplier Adidas time to adjust to new logos and looks.
Via the Charlotte Observer

With all of this name game madness going on, isn't what needs to happen here fairly obvious? A three-way trade between the Jazz, Bobcats and Hornets is in order. First of all, the Utah Jazz need to give up that name. It makes no sense. Jazz music really originally exploded in New Orleans, and the name should truly belong to that city. Compensation can be protected draft picks and cash considerations. Or maybe some players. Who cares. The Bobcats have the worst record in the East (7-53) and the Hornets hold that same honor in the West (19-42).

In return, New Orleans will receive the name Jazz, and Charlotte will get to call themselves the Hornets once again. All is right with the world. The Jazz can name themselves... wait a minute. This has to be a four-way trade! The team currently known as the Jazz play their games in Salt Lake City, Utah. So what better name for the team from Salt Lake than the Lakers? Los Angeles really only has that name because the team moved there from Minneapolis which lies near the Great Lakes. So some of those assets going to Utah really should go to Los Angeles as they trade their Lakers team name to Utah. Then the Los Angeles franchise can adopt the name the LA Celebrities. Or maybe a play on Hollywood; The Los Angeles Woodies. That city is filled with creative people, they should be able to come up with something.

So it's decided. A four-trade is the only way to solve this. The Lakers receive real applicable assets from Charlotte, Utah and New Orleans. Then after name swaps we will have the New Orleans Jazz, the Utah Lakers and the Charlotte Hornets. I hope David Stern reads this so he can help put this trade together. But that would probably just end in him intervening and vetoing the whole ordeal.